Stony Silence

Mutley and I are both Officially Dastardly Dogs, so we thought that we’d borrow the Volvo for a Day Out!

Things went well at first, we got the keys without Helen noticing, and we sped off laughing for a Big Adventure!
I drove in order to try and impress Mutley and he did the navigating.
Or at least, I wanted him to do the navigating because I’m hopeless at directions apart from round and around.
Mutley didn’t navigate right away, so I drove around and around, trying to round up the other traffic in true collie style.
The other cars refused to be rounded up though, and pressed their horns rudely at my Good Driving.
The car horns honking made me Bark
A Lot.
And my Barking made Mutley bark.
A LOT.

We were both Barking so much that we got carried away and it was only when we were somewhere near Swanage that I realised I was lost.
Mutley didn’t know where we were either, but said that he wasn’t lost as he was Top Dog and Top Dogs never get lost.

I was very impressed by this.

Mutley opened the map all over the dashboard and I couldn’t see through it and pushed it away and somehow it flew off out of the window along the dual carriageway.

I got much more lost quite quickly after that.

Mutley said that although of course he still knew where he was, they had moved all the roads about since the last time he came and we should go home as it was Time for Dinner and he was hungry.

After another two hours I pulled over by a sign which said:

” Welcome to Dartmoor National park, all dogs must be on leads at all times”

We had a big argument about whose fault it was and of course Mutley won the argument as he is Top Dog but I knew it was really His Fault Actually.
And so did he.

We sat in stony silence by the side of the road for a very long time, neither of us wanting to be the one to ring Helen and get Told Off..

My Cornwall Holiday

Well it has been a while since I updated you with my adventures and I know some people are eagerly awaiting my Cornwall diary.

Soon after arriving back at the rescue I was whisked off to Cornwall for two weeks

Mutley and Spike came too so I could keep an eye on them.

After my previous record in eating the Volvo I thought I would behave myself on the drive there in case I was sent back by post with the postcards. I am not sure if they have post boxes big enough to fit a Collie in but I wasn’t going to take the chance so all the way to Cornwall I sat in the footwell quiet and behaved like a gentleman.

Helen was most impressed and told me several times what a good boy I was.

We went for a walk on the beach when we arrived and to start with I fetched sticks from the sea without barking but I am afraid I forgot myself for a while and started to bark a bit like Spike does, he is such a bad influence on me.

We went for long walks every day but as I am a Collie I still had loads of energy left for ball throwing which Spike and I did in the mornings whilst Mutley who is very badly behaved around balls was distracted elsewhere.

I really don’t know why he has a star collar and I don’t because I can tell you his behaviour sometimes doesn’t deserve any stars !!

Anyway on with my news as I am sure no-one is interested in what Mutley did after all  I am really the star dog.

We went shopping a few times because Helen really is quite a shopping bore which was very tedious for us dogs and her friend that was with us. But we felt we ought to humour her as she was on holiday and she likes to look at shops. She has this odd habit of wanting to buy hand made paper which we all agreed was quite strange. I thought paper was for ripping up and tossing about like confetti , I do this with the quilts in my bed.

Strangely enough I haven’t had a quilt for a while

I don’t know why because they are great fun.

We saw a strange grey thing in the sea it looked very slippery and was called a Seal apparently. I looked it up in my Encyclopedia and they smell very bad so I was most pleased it didn’t come closer.

I am an excellent cliff climber and everyone agreed I must of been a Goat in my previous life. When we play up or I forget myself and chew the Volvo Helen says she must have been really horrible to dogs in her previous life to have to put up with us lot I won’t tell you what else she says or you would be shocked.

One day we found a cove and sat down to have lunch as we had to keep an eye on the tide I suggested that a marker stone was put near the sea and then we would know when it was coming in.

This worked quite well for a couple of hours until Spike decided it needed to be retrieved. Can you imagine the disasterous results if we hadn’t seen him do it, I was also secretly quite impressed that he had sniffed out a stone from all the ones on the beach that had our smell on it. He would make a good sniffer dog.

We stayed out most nights until it was nearly dark looking at the stars.

I did bark at them a bit but they are not as good fun as the clouds when I chase them.

Two weeks went way too quickly and soon we were on our way home.

I have written a letter to the Prime Minister suggesting that he ups the holiday allowance for everyone.

I haven’t had a reply yet.

Dooley Collie – Dog room Management Consultant

Hi, Just thought I’d spend a few minutes of my day off updating my diary.
I’m grateful that Helen gives me the weekends off so I can relax and catch up on my sleep.
Being a full time dog room manager is a very demanding job.
I realise I am the best dog for the job.
Who better to keep order than a hard working Collie with OCD!
It is a 24 hours a day commitment, so I really do deserve my two day break each week.
I think Helen has forgotten my management methods during my absence, which is why I have had to come back for a few months and restore order.

Mutley and Spike have been trying to manage without me but I think they are ready for retirement and will do anything for a quiet life.
The new dogs have been getting away with bending the rules far too much I think.
Helen has commented on what a good bunch of dogs she has had lately.
That’s no co-incidence you know!
I have been having regular chats with them to remind them how to behave and to make sure their blankets are neatly folded and to take turns in making Helen cups of tea.
I get told off for barking sometimes but I have to make sure my message is heard!
What happens when I’m not there is anyone’s guess but I know Helen is always pleased to see me when I get back.
Anyway it’s time for another nap before I have a chew on my holiday bone and hopefully go for a swim later.

The Swimming Gang

I heard that Scarlet one of my fans is eagerly awaiting my Cornwall diary.
I haven’t had my holiday snaps of Cornwall developed yet so I thought I would write a quick diary about The Swimming Gang and our walks up the field and river.

Yesterday and today Fudge,Spike and myself along with Mutley and Skippy went to the river to cool off.
When we arrived there OUR river was already occupied by a family of Swans.
Helen put Mutley and I on a lead and said it was best if we walked on until they had swam away.
I don’t know why Mutley would of loved to have met them and I am sure that I could of easily seen them off but we were dragged away into the next field.

We found the river again and I immediately dived in just like you see the belly divers doing at the pool.

I love to swim in circles and so does Spike but I am afraid that Mutley who is not allowed to be part of The Ball Throwing Gang is not so sportsman like, he belly flopped in after me and straight away started to bark and try to drown me.
Luckily I am an adept swimmer and managed to keep just ahead of him.
He is the same if we let him on our team when catching balls he always wants the ball all to himself and I have heard Helen say on more than one occasion that he is obsessive.

After a while we had all had enough of the barking and left Mutley and Spike ( who by this time was also barking) in the river and went on our way.

It is amazing how you can walk a short distance away and not hear them.

Fudge and I were all for leaving them behind but Helen went back to make sure they weren’t drowning and what do you reckon had happened ?
Well, I will tell you Spike had been a complete show off and dived under the water to bring up a brick !
He is a fantastic diver and many times when he does this and all that is left on the surface is bubbles Helen starts to get concerned at the amount of time he is underwater and is all prepared to jump in after him.
No-one ever believes that he can do this until they see him in action.
I have attached a photo for you to see his brick it must of been a collectable one for him to go to all that trouble.

Anyway on we went to out usual river spot to do some more swimming. Mutley and Spike who are practising for The Dog Synchronised Swimming Team went into action. We are all supposed to cheer them and clap with appreciation but to be honest it just looks to me like Mutley is trying to drown Spike and they are both completely out of synch when they swim. I of course am so graceful when swimming and my beautiful tail acts as a rudder.

I have attached a photo of me sitting on the front seat of the Volvo cleaning all the muddy water off myself just in case I should bump into any of my fans on the way home.
I must remember to ask Mark to airbrush out of the photo the damage to the car door , because I wouldn’t like you all to know that the other day I tried to Eat The Volvo again

I also had to remember to ask someone to do something, but I’ve forgotten what it was now…

shakey-shakey!

I love being near the sea, by the sea, in the sea, out of the sea, back in the sea, out of the sea, back in the sea, over and over and over again!!

I am now a very good swimmer and on my holidays loved to go swimming with Mutley and Spike

Spike swims quite far out but not as far as me.

Mutley splashes in the waves and barks a lot, rather then swimming much. Mutley is My Hero, so he  must have his own Heroic reasons for not getting too wet and barking instead.

I can’t bark and swim at the same time. I’ve tried it, but swallowing sea water is A Not Nice Thing To Do

I also love sharing the sea water with Helen, who doesn’t seem to like swimming much, so I always kindly bring some to her when I’ve been in the water.

I come up close to her so that she gets the full benefit and then….

shakey-shakey-shakey-shakey-shakey-shakey!!

I know instinctively that this sort of  thing helps reinforce the age-old bond between dogs and people, and I can tell from Helen’s squeals of delight that she is very proud of me for being So Kind

Me on my Hols!

Here is a picture of me on my recent holiday in Cornwall.

I’ll be telling you all about it  in my diary soon, but it is too much of a sunny day for me to stay in and write it just yet.

In the meantime,

I thought that you’d all like a special widescreen desktop wallpaper of Yours Truely enjoying himself, so that you can see me beaming from your computer screen every day!!

To download the wallpaper, visit this link :

http://sithean.com/dawgdogs/dooley/dooley wp.jpg

Playing In The River

Helen has given Claire the honour of having me to stay for the weekends which is to help with my continuing development into a DAWGdogs role model.( I thought I already was one to be honest).  I have met Claire before and I know from Rocco’s tales of his visits that she’s a dog person and I’ll be ok with her. I’m not sure about Mark though so I usually give him a wide berth. It has been known for me to let him stroke me and tickle my tummy. He hasn’t been unkind to me at all but I still like to make sure he knows it’s on my terms and how important I am and if he comes near me uninvited I will hot foot it over the coffee table no question!.

To start with I was very good when Claire picked me up but she has commented recently that my rediscovery of the love of barking in the car is not endearing. Oh well each to their own! Apart from that I am very well behaved on my visits. I am a lot calmer than they expected and can nap for hours if a walk isn’t on the cards until it gets cooler.  It has been hot. Even though Claire spends time in the garden during the day, I like to be in the lounge. I will go outside and hide under the bench now and then  but I’m happy in the lounge. She checks on me to see if I’m being good and sometimes catches me having what she calls ‘a squirm’ – a lovely back scratch on the carpet with some carpet biting just for fun.

Christchurch is nice for walks. On one of my walks I gave them a surprise by jumping in the scummiest bit of the river ( still on the lead!)  I love swimming and now they know this I get taken to  cleaner parts of the river where I can fetch other dogs’ toys back for their owners and soggy tennis balls for Claire. I even go to the trouble of digging up bricks from the river bed and dragging them to the side for them to then refuse to throw them! Humans!

This weekend we went with another Dawgdog – Barney, he prefers to paddle and leaves me to fetch the ball when it is out of his depth. I like his owner. When she comes to see Claire I flirt with her by fluffing up my tail, showing her my toys and what a handsome boy I am. Everyone says I’m handsome. You all know this anyway.

OH DEAR

OH DEAR

I am not in Helen’s good books today,
I have forgotten the golden rule of I MUST NOT EAT THE VOLVO.

Oh dear I really let my self down this morning, it started out ok , she put us in the car ready to go for a walk and then drove to her Mum’s house to pop in and help her with something and when she came out she couldn’t get into the car.
I am ashamed to admit that the temptation of racing around the car to bark at people walking past ended in me chewing the Volvo and pulling the door panels off, which meant we were locked in and Helen locked out of the car.
I am not going to tell my Mum that she taught me a few bad words when she realised what I had done.
Goodness she would be shocked to think my delicate ears was subjected to that type of language !!

Anyway the upshot of this story is that after about half an hour of language you won’t find in the Bible and a lot of tugging and forcing of doors Helen was able to get into the car again AND she still took me for a walk !!

Whether she thought I deserved one or not didn’t seem to come into it.

Hello to all my fans !

Hello to all my fans, who I know will be pleased to know that I am back at the rescue and will be continuing my diaries.
I am to stay here at the rescue with Helen for a while as my Mum is not well.
EVERYONE is pleased to see me and those that were luke warm in their greeting obviously didn’t know of my fame as a diarist.
They do now as I have told them all about myself several times a day.

My return to the rescue began one evening when Helen met me and my Mum at the train station, my Mum had brought me back to Bournemouth where she knew I would be safe with Helen who knows,understands and loves my flamboyant personality.
Who wouldn’t I ask ?
At first I wasn’t sure what was going on and then Helen stroked me and I immediately recognised her scent and went crazy with joy, jumping onto the Volvo bonnet and scratching the paintwork with my tap dancing.
Helen put me in the car, guess she was worried about the paintwork to be honest.
I got really excited when we got to her front door and I could hear Mutley barking, for those of you that don’t know I adore Mutley and for ages wanted a star collar like he has.
I was so pleased to see Mutley and Spike that I forgot myself and cocked my leg in excitement.
It has been all excitement since that day and in my next diary I will tell you all about my holiday in Cornwall.

Two Minutes of Barking

This morning whilst Helen was at the Rescue she stopped work at 11o’clock and was silent for a couple of minutes, lost in her thoughts.

I wasn’t.

I’d been quiet all morning.

At the start of the Two Minutes Silence I started barking

Loudly.

I barked for two minutes constantly and then stopped.

Griff said that I have no respect, which; to be fair, I usually don’t.

But this time I did.

If a dog like me was quiet for two minutes at that time, no-one would really have noticed anything special in that.

So I Barked Loudly.

Animal Aid have been selling purple poppies in rememberance of all the animal victims of war.

Mark has put some details of this on the campaign site at :

http://dawgdogs.net/campaigns/

and Animal Aid’s own site carries more information :

Animal aid

Remember the fallen

and Bark Loudly when the expected thing to do is remain silent