28/4/10
Since Helen obviously hasn’t realised that wiki-Mutley-leaks is now helping keep you all informed about The Truth About Jackson, we’ve time for the latest update:
It has taken Helen less time than we expected for more potential excuses as to why Jackson has not been rehomed to emerge. Apparently Mutley ‘is not as young as he used to be’ and his capabilities as Rescue Security and Helen’s Personal Bodyguard are ‘not going to last forever and soon a younger dog may be needed to be added to her pack’. We all know which dog is being lined up for that one. Mutley has somewhat taken affront to this premature PR-exercise in pensioning him off and has hit back with his new scheme of Mutley’s Bonio Pensions Plan.
And now an ad from our sponsor:
“All dogs, pups or mature, need to think about their retirement. Mutley’s Bonio Pension Plan is for you. Simply choose how many Bonios per month you would like to invest in Mutley’s Bonio Pension Plan and you can look forward to him using his Obsessive Expert Bonio Knowledge to invest your Bonios in the best possible way to ensure the maximum possible number of Bonios for him you in later years. Free Parker Pen with your first investment of 1000 Bonios.
Best if you don’t read this small print:
Past performance is not necessarily a guide to future performance.
The value of your Bonio investments can go down as well as up, and you may not get back the amount of Bonios which you invested.
Mutley’s Bonio Pension Plan is regulated by the IFA.
The IFA (Interesting Food Aquisitions) is regulated by Mutley himself.
This is to avoid any awkward questions in later years such as ‘Where have all the investor’s Bonios gone?”