My latest Lord Of the Rings update has been banned…

Updated June 14, 2011 Categories: Mutley's Diary.


Well, well well!

Who’d have thought it, I now have my own online diary!

This has come about because Mark is In Big Trouble with Helen.
He’s in trouble because I wanted to do an update which mentioned the bane of my life my good friend Spike.

Spike is the other permanent resident of the Rescue who has reached the hallowed status of becoming one of Helen’s own dogs and having a star collar.
At the time I was thinking of this, Spike was enjoying playing with one of his favourite toys – a large red rubber ring, which he constantly worries at and savages for being All-Kinds-Of-Imaginary-Snake-like-Creatures.

So anyway I suggested to Mark about writing a ‘Lord Of The Rings’ themed update, with me being Lord Of The Bonios because I’m obsessed by Bonios and like to order people around by demanding they feed me whenever I’m a bit peckish, Spike having the ring, and hence being Frodo ( because he is also much smaller than me and so to me is of hobbit-sized proportions and also because he has hairy feet ).

All was going well with this idea until Mark suggested with much mirth that Jackson could be Smeagol, on account of him looking rather like him.
Helen took great affront at this on Smeagols Jacksons behalf and my latest update was banned, censored, removed, evicted and generally forcibly done away with pronto.

Helen would also have liked to have confiscated Mark’s dinner like she often does with mine for good measure but since we live in Poole and he lives in the Far North somewhere up near the Arctic Circle Birmingham this wasn’t possible.

So instead my ‘updates’ are being removed from Smeagols Jacksons page and placed in my own Diary and Mark is forbidden from ever referring to Smeagol Jackson as Smeagol Jackson ever again no matter how funny he thinks it is to do so to wind Helen up.

Which it does.

Very much indeed.

Comment on June 14th, 2011.

Yes Mark you are in big trouble !!!!

Comment on June 15th, 2011.

Yay go Mark, although I would’nt like to be in your shoes when Helen next sees you…………… hehehe

Comment on June 15th, 2011.

Hehe! I really wanted to put a picture of Smeagol up with Jackson’s name underneath and an identically sized one of Jackson in the same pose with the name ‘Smeagol’ underneath at the end of this, but I thought that might result in Even More Trouble ! XD

Comment on June 15th, 2011.

Dooley always wrote very complimentary comments about you in his diary. I think you should follow his example and find nice things to write about Jackson, even if he doesn’t clean your ears like Dooley did. If he sees them he might share his treats with you.

Comment on June 16th, 2011.

Dear Claire,
I feel that perhaps my intentions have been rather misunderstood with regard to the young fellow. Jackson and I always get along very well. I was only reporting the Mark/Smeagol incident by way of explaining the sudden appearance of Yours Truly’s musings in Diary form.
Smeagol Jackson deserves to find a very good home and I’m trying to help him find one, since Helen seems quite happy to let him stay on the end of my bed stopping me reading my books and keeping me awake with his snoring until such time as a suitable home becomes available in other words; for as long as she can get away with it and probably permanently unless I continue to tell the world what she’s up to. I’m sure that he would be happier in a home where he wasn’t feeling that he was keeping everyone awake every night.

I do miss young Dooley cleaning my ears. In fact they could probably do with a good clean right now come to think of it. They are probably in a right state. I’m not sure that letting Jackson see my ears in this state will prompt him to share his treats with me as you suggest, but it is certainly an idea worth serious consideration and I’ll willingly wave them in front of his face on a regular basis and let you know if it works!

My new Diary will allow me to ramble on philosophically discuss many matters on my mind, without being the content being limited ( however tangentally ) to updates about Smeagol Jackson in the future.

Yours truly,
Master Mutley Esq.

Comment on June 16th, 2011.

Mutley, I meant if he sees your nice comments not your dirty ears!

Comment on June 16th, 2011.

Yes, I see …

I think I’ve probably lost any chance of getting any tonight then…

There goes my Path To Lots Of Instant Treats.

I’ll have to be more careful what I say about little Jackson in future entries, Mark often has to cross out some of the things I put when he is editing for me as it is.

Comment on June 17th, 2011.

I think Jackson looks exactly like Smeagol (sp!)except he’s a baby gate jumping expert. (Jackson that is – and he’s cuter). Perhaps baby gate jumping should be an Olympic sport. Jackson could team up with my Rosie. She’s quite nifty at it too!

Comment on June 17th, 2011.

Hello Della!
Mark will be Very Pleased when he reads your comment, as it might help him to be in rather less Trouble With Helen =D

The Olympic sport idea is a very good one, perhaps next years DAWGdogs Fun Day could have an Olympic theme to it and all sorts of special events such as baby-gate jumping could be held!
I’d love to enter the Dog-Who-Can-Eat-The-Most-Bonios Event, I’m sure I could get a Gold medal for it! And also the Dog-Who-Has-To-Wait-Longest-For-His-Evening-Meal Gold Medal too!